The Gifts of May, Including Celebrations

 

 

May is my favorite spring month, for many reasons. Partly because the view out of the living room window shows the porch covered in purple clematis, with the young Kousa dogwood across from it putting on more and more white bracts each year.

 

 Another gift of May is the gift of birthday cards arriving that I display on the kitchen shelf to enjoy all month long. Some of them are Mother's Day cards but even more birthday cards will be added when I celebrate it again when out of town and out of state children come in on Memorial Day weekend. 

I love stretching out a celebration, don't you? So don't feel sorry for me when I show you what I had for dinner on my actual birthday, frozen pizza. 

 That's right, I asked RH to pick up a frozen Screamin' Sicilian Pizza and fresh arugula because it's a favorite treat. I pile on the arugula as soon as the pizza comes out of the oven and drizzle it well with Greek olive oil and tons of freshly ground black pepper. And I think I had Cherry Garcia ice cream for dessert. 

It was a wonderful birthday full of cards in the mail, texts and phone calls and FaceTime visits, and one in person visit from my firstborn son who joined me for lunch. Didn't even think to get a picture then or when two grandsons dropped in on me that week

I had another birthday treat a few days later when my favorite way of entertaining occurred--when family brings the party to me! All I had to do was set the table.

 

Zack and Stacey brought my birthday dinner to me along with beautiful flowers for the table!

The dinner from Carne Mare in Nashville was fabulous, the Salt-Baked Florida Red Snapper for me (seafood lover) and various cuts of steak for the others. We had potatoes with rosemary and parmigiano and broccolini with garlic and oil and delicious salads.

And the signature bread along with birthday greetings from some of the restaurant staff. The bread is to die for!

And the most scrumptious 17-layer espresso cake with chocolate caramel mousse I've ever had, gilded cherry on top. I stole a picture of it from their website.

 I stretched out my piece for three nights and then RH gave me half of his. 

Even better than the dinner were the birthday hugs and conversation at the dinner table for hours. It was so much fun, something that even those of us in our eighth decade need. Maybe even more so, lest we forget. A big thank you to Stacey and Zack for a delightful evening!

 God willing, I'll soon be posting here in a couple of weeks about my second birthday dinner. Stacey, lucky girl, will be in Italy then so RH and I will be looking forward to seeing pictures of her trip when she gets home. Meanwhile, this mama is looking forward to having all her chicks come home to Nashville for another celebration. 

Because those are the best gifts of all, right?

Thank you, beautiful month of May!

 

Women and their need to have a party, as does Mrs Dalloway

 

 

Virginia Woolf's Mrs Dalloway is known for her parties, known for being the consummate hostess. 

When her husband questions her about her newest party plan, she answers him:

Richard, it's all that I can do, give people one night in which everything seems enchanted, when all the women seem beautiful and all the men seem handsome and everyone is made to seem they're amusing.

 Putting all other themes of Mrs Dalloway aside, clearly Clarissa Dalloway is the quintessential hostess and I love that her wish is to make her guests shine, not herself.

In tidying all my bookshelves this winter I pulled out my old copy of my favorite Virginia Woolf novel expecting to love it the way I did when I was much younger. Within ten pages the stream of consciousness writing defeated me and I turned instead to finding Mrs Dalloway available to watch on Tubi where Vanessa Redgrave enchanted me as the older version of Clarissa Dalloway.

 

 

Ignoring the complex themes behind Clarissa needing to give a party, I fixated that cold winter night simply on the party itself with people arriving all dressed up and standing close to each other talking and eating special food and drinking festive drinks. You know, those things that pretty much disappeared during the two years of pandemic. 

And I began to miss it so very much!

Not that RH and I were ever accomplished hosts. We were always more of the "scruffy hospitality" philosophy made popular by an East Tennessee couple. 

But oh, the large cookouts we had at Valley View! Times when our big Adult Sunday School Class (and our daughter's Young Married Class) came in autumns and in springs to sit around the campfire and roast hotdogs over an open fire after exploring our 24 acres, with S'Mores for dessert and musical entertainment by guests in the Christian music industry.

We had birthday parties where teenagers hiked back to our waterfall and swung out over it on a rope. That experience halted for anyone except family after one teen girl fell and got the breath knocked out of her. 

Which makes me think of the G.I. Joe birthday party I had for Zack with a dozen little boys playing themed games. Was it my fault that one of them peeled his finger instead of the potato he was holding during the KP Duty game? His mother seemed to think so.

I even gave a fancy women's luncheon one time that took a month of preparation with three tables decorated with different Spode patterns from my collection. That party was anything but scruffy and I often pat myself on the back for having pulled it off, with help from my daughter and two daughters-in-law and the men in my family.

And over 26 years at Valley View there were large family parties galore. There still are large parties at Valley View but now they're hosted by our son and daughter-in-law, the new owners.

I'm truthfully past being able to pull off a large party now, even a scruffy one. But the desire to have them lives on and makes me wonder, is this an intrinsic need in most women?

I've noticed that even though I can no longer physically host big parties, I adore books and stories that include women (and men) preparing for special dinners--or brunches. I love it when bloggers write about their holiday parties or even birthday parties for a child.

And I keep on jotting down ideas for parties that will never happen. I can't help thinking that I must not be alone in this. Is it wired into our DNA to love having a party?

Or, as one of my favorite authors Phyllis McGinley wrote once, "I love to have given a party!" 

We did have a large family Christmas party last Christmas here at Home Hill. Anything but fancy. I served spaghetti, salad, and french bread. But oh, it was so much fun!

 

 And I miss it so! Even though any future ones might have to be catered.

Do you know what I mean?

Do you love having a party or having given a party?

Did you miss it during the shutdown? 

Is there just something in women where having a party is a necessity of life? 

Even when the world is not in a party mood?

Watch Mrs Dalloway if you get the chance. Or read the book, or both.

And give parties when you're young and able, for goodness' sake! Especially scruffy ones.

 

 

Party Ready?

Are you party ready?

Even got your party dress ready?

[Ladies' Home Journal December 1960]

I'm not party ready,

but Mrs. Godley is:

"The Godley family gave a party a week before Christmas…

Magdalena had said to somebody,

'Oh, I know we'll be at home tonight,'

or Frank had remarked to his best friend, Peabody,

'Well, you know you're always welcome, Harry.'

Stray remarks like these,

all with the Godley sincerity,

good humor and generosity,

had created a party, so that

Mrs. Godley suddenly found herself making her famous cakes,

preparing cold chickens

and seeing whether there was enough Moselle for the cup.

She knew that there would be 'a few friends' and that

that would mean the house would be filled with people.

Friends brought other people whom the Godleys

had never seen in their lives before:

'Oh, of course you can come;

they are the best-natured people in the world;

they always have heaps of food and drink

and we dance a bit and you can play cards if you like.

You will like them.'

And the friends brought by the friends always did

like the Godleys and determined in their own minds

that they would come again."

By Hugh Walpole in "The Train to the Sea"

Woman's Home Companion

January 1938

I've always wanted to be a Mrs. Godley,

party ready anytime.

Surely it's more difficult than she makes it look.