Sunday, November 5, 2017


It's been over a month since I've written here. For almost the first three of those weeks there was no reason other than that life was just too wonderful to spend sitting holding a laptop, October too magnificent not to enjoy with my full attention.

Then October 19th came and Milo began shivering. The next day his doctor ran blood work and said his kidney values were high. The plan was for three days of fluids under the skin, meds and a special diet and then to run blood work again. 

On the 24th we carried Milo in for the fourth time knowing that something was very wrong. And it was, his kidney failure was off the charts. And so once again we went through the heartbreaking time of holding a beloved fur baby until the light went out of his eyes. 

RH and I have spent the time since that day remembering our little Milo and consoling his twin brother Otis.

We've thanked God so many times for the gift of these two brothers who were nine years old when we adopted them from a wonderful rescue organization on December 14, 2013, exactly one year to the date from when we'd said goodbye to our 15 year old dachshund Penelope.

Milo and Otis were twins but different. Milo was so much smaller. He got cold easily. He always had to be coaxed to eat. I played many foolish games with Milo to get him to eat. 

He was so attached to his brother.

He would often climb into one of the many nests scattered throughout our house that was already occupied by his twin.

But there were times when he could be a loner, too.

Often when Otis would run back inside, Milo would stay outside and just sit in the sun and watch the birds, chipmunks and squirrels.

Both Milo and Otis handled well our move to Florida last year and back to Tennessee after nine months. 

They even handled an evacuation to the Gulf coast last year during a hurricane. Honestly, they were always fine if their Mama and Daddy were near.

Milo was my talking dachshund, my singing dachshund. He and I would give concerts for the neighbors while Otis was so embarrassed, Really? Must you, Mama?

Milo always loved for me to hold him in my arms and would lay his head on my shoulder.

We did a lot of that.

We all miss Milo so much.

Otis spent the first few days just watching, waiting. And the next few with his head on his front paws, looking sunk in sadness. 

He's just wanted to be in the same room all the time with us, as close as he could get next to us.

We've developed new routines, routines for three, not four.

Three go on walks now, three come home.

And I spend a lot of time looking out my kitchen window over to a small resting place for our Milo in the corner of the butterfly garden. 

"What Monsieur BĂ©liveau needed was to feel bad.
And then he'd feel better."
Louise Penny, from The Cruelest Month

Dear friends,
It is with a heavy heart that I publish this post about Milo because I just turned on the television and learned of the horrific news of another church shooting, this time in Texas. I would not ever want to compare our sadness to those families who will now be going through the worst heartbreak possible.

As RH and his family have had bad news about dear ones this last week, I know others are facing their own challenges. 

I pray we will all be a compassionate and loving community to those who are hurting in ways we can't even imagine.

Sending love to each of you,


  1. Oh Dewena how my heart aches for you and your husband. It is like losing a member of your family and so very sad. Nothing I can say will help. I know we have been told by many family members that we should put s
    SAdie down but we are just not ready for that step yet. It is a hard decision when she is not in pain..except when she walks. I know the time will be coming but for now we will do all we can for her. Milo was lucky to have your love.

  2. I'm so sorry, Dewena. It's so hard to say goodbye to a beloved pet.

    We are stunned here in Texas. Hard to understand how anyone could do something so horrible.

  3. I'm sorry for the loss of your dear Milo, and for the sad family news. There is much heartache in the world.

  4. I am so so so sorry to hear this sad news. My thoughts are with you--sweet little Milo loved y'all so very much and he knew how much you loved him. So sorry for your loss, my friend, and may the memories you have of him help to lessen the sadness.

  5. I am so sorry for your loss, Dewena. I remember the sorrow of losing Tess, our Scottie, though it has been years ago. They continue to hold a place in our hearts long after they're gone.

    It is hard to post after the tragic events we have all around us these days. I'd not been able to post since Harvey... the more and more tragedies. And, just since I first worked up the heart to post again last Tuesday, we've had two horrible events. I cannot imagine darkness in the hearts of the people who are committing these acts of violence. It just crushes my soul to think of it all.

    I am sending hugs and prayers for your comfort, dear Dewena. blessings ~ tanna

  6. How is it, losing a pet rips at the tapestry of soul & daily life? Time passes, it seems healing the wound of grief. Then, perhaps years later, cleaning a drawer, or some such, finding their photo or collar, and all that grief, just as fresh as the day of the loss, full force.

    I've decided to make those tears falling, decades later, a visit. As those terrible tears are falling, though that Beloved pet has been gone years or decades, a knowing visit from them. The warmth of the tears on cheek telling me, yes, their love, still in full bloom, alive in me. We're still connected in the loving grace of Providence.

    Hope this time of fresh grief soon moves on.

    Garden & Be Well, XOT

  7. Dear Dewena - please accept my sincere condolences; it's never, ever easy to say good-bye to anyone, no matter the number of legs. It's always difficult on those left behind and to grieve or mourn their death amidst the celebration of remembering their life is a balancing act. Grief takes as long as it takes, as long as they live in our hearts and memories, they'll never be forgotten. You are loved.

  8. Oh Dewena...your post has me in tears. I am so, so sorry for the loss of your beloved Milo. As much as I love animals, I think I'm also more sensitive lately knowing our days with Zippo (he's 18) are numbered, and a friend of ours is having to say goodbye to her precious pup (whom we all love) today, too. My heart is aching for you. Sending you lots of love and hugs.

  9. I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved Milo, Dewena. I love all the pictures, especially the one with Otis being mischievous with the pumpkins. Milo sounds like such a loyal dog as well. I still want to get a Dachshund someday - they are the best dogs.

    Yes, thinking about what happened in Texas and praying for all.

    love, ~Sheri

  10. This makes me so sad! But I'm glad you wrote about your life with Milo, and I hope his brother's health is not too impacted by grief. God bless you, Dewena!

  11. I am so very sorry for your loss! And poor Otis. Be good to yourself as you grieve.

  12. Oh, Dewena, I'm so sorry for you loss. I'm glad you wrote about Milo. What a sweet face. There is so much sadness in the world, and one person's grief doesn't outweigh another's, or is eased because someone else's might appear different or worse. We all have our hearts that need mending. We all need to be understanding and kind, as you just don't know what another person might be going through. Sending prayers your way.

  13. Dewena, I am so sorry for your loss. Yes, there is terrible, terrible sadness in the world ~ but your sorrow is your own and you need to feel it and respect your pain. I hope you find comfort in furry snuggles.

  14. If I was a dog, I'd want you for a mommy. Heck, I want you for a mommy anyway.

    What a lucky dog Milo was. First, to have been adopted by two of the most loving people on the planet and second, to have you with him till the very end, enveloped in your arms and surrounded by such unconditional love.

    Love and healing thoughts to you and R.H.


  15. Oh no! I've been in your same place before so I know its never easy. Take care, and know you made an animal very happy while he was here.

  16. I love the photos of sweet, little Milo, cozily hugging his adoring mommy and cuddling closely to his twin brother. He was blessed to have had such a loving and caring family, one who will miss him dearly, but who will always hold him in their hearts.

    Sending prayers and hugs,

  17. Dear Dewena ~ I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Milo. I'm glad you still have his dear brother Otis and pray you'll all be a comfort to each other.

    The news of the church killing was horrible. Every time we turn around there is some heartbreak going on around the world. May we all grow in compassion and forgiveness even when it seems impossible.

    Love & hugs for you and your dear husband & Otis too ~ FlowerLady

  18. Deweena,

    I read you when Penelope died, and am reading still now, when you have lost Milo. I know it isn't fair to compare these losses with those who have lost family members so
    tragically, but God keeps His eye on the sparrow, too. I am so sorry for you and RH and for Otis, too. Milo was a beautiful little boy, and can it really have been so long?

    Mary Ann

  19. Almost as sad as your grief over Milo is watching Otis grieve and the frustration of not being able to explain it to him. We've been through a similar experience two years ago. After our Jenny passed, Daisy sat on the front porch every evening for nearly a year, waiting and watching for her. It's what we sign up for, though, when we take pets into our hearts and lives.

    Nothing compares to the loss of our loved ones, though. May God comfort the dear folks in Texas.

  20. I'm so very sorry. My heart aches for you. I know your sadness.

  21. there are just no words.
    many tears.
    the word is beloved. it's all I can say. all wrapped up in a little fur covered soul. and now you three.
    the pictures are perfect. full of love.
    and RH with Otis sleeping by him now. in a need for comfort.
    take care. grief depletes us.
    and the grief now of knowing innocents were killed in texas for no reason.
    my thoughts are ever with you.
    love you dsm.

  22. Sending hugs.
    Our Molly is 12, she is our Boston Terrier. She also has been up and down the past few months.

    Praying for all,

  23. Dewena, I'm sending a very heart felt hug which I know you need right now. No words can end your grief. I pray you see the sun soon. Milo was one of the cutest pups I've ever seen. Small dogs are inherently lovable, and she was a wonderful companion and sweetheart for you and your husband.

    We've been having a lot of pain with our dog, also named Milo. Have a look at my latest post. I'm holding your hand across the miles and internet.

    Jane xxx

  24. Sad news this morning, my friend. You gave a beautiful tribute to Milo, and I've no doubt his years with you and RH were filled with happiness, love and contentment. I'm still reeling over the Sutherland Springs tragedy, and praying they will lean on Jesus. Love you, Dewena. xo

  25. So sorry to read the news about Milo, sending my good thoughts to you as you adjust to life with three and not four.
    I thought your tribute and pictures were perfect.

    Yes, my heart goes out to all those affected by the Texas shootings.

    My good wishes to you Dewena, you are in my thoughts.

    All the best Jan

  26. I'm so sorry to read about Milo. You gave Milo a good and happy life, and he gave the same to you. I was touched by your photos and tribute, and I am sending hugs your way. My heart can't bear all of the tragic shootings that have become so commonplace.

  27. What beautiful pictures and a beautifully written epitaph to Milo. I know how you have been feeling, because all of us who have loved our pets as family, know and mist up at our own losses. We just lost another beloved cat in August, but where have the months been since? I've been hearing her and seeing her and remembering the last days.
    She will be the last we get, I do believe. I love animals--even everyone else's--too much to lose another. Rest in Peace, Babycat and Milo!
    And peace to you and R. H. and all who loved Milo, Deweena.

  28. Hi Deweena, it's inexplicable, but my comments on this and the last post have disappeared!
    I' m so very sorry about your loss of Milo. We lost "Babycat in August. Strangely I still feel her padding around. Jumping lightly upon my chest, as she used to when she thought I was asleep. I guess I'm not yet ready, but she's not with us anymore. And I guess one day, I won't imagine I see her shadow, or hear a thump she used to make in the night.
    I think she will be our last pet. I don't seem to be as resilient as I was.
    I'm so glad Milo's brother is there to comfort you, and you to do the same for him!

  29. Oh no, Dewena, I well know the sorrow of losing a beloved pet. I send a big big hug.

  30. I am so very sorry, Dewena, about Milo and now Otis. Lifting you up in prayer. xo Deborah

  31. I know I commented earlier, but I also want to say how sorry I am to read about Milo and now Otis in your more recent post.
    Sending heartfelt wishes to you at this sad time.
    You are in my thoughts.

    All the best Jan

  32. Ooooo...we are sorry to hear your sad news about Mil and Otis. A double whammy. I'm sending my heart wishes for comfort in this time of sweet furry loss.



RH and I love your comments! They are sent to my email for moderation first but I do hit publish as soon as I read them. A few commenters' comments are not sent to my email for some reason but I try to visit that section on my design page twice a day to see if they're hiding there so I can publish them. I went the first 3 years of blogging not knowing that was there and when I discovered it there were many pages of old comments that never got published. I was so embarrassed and contacted recent ones but hid in shame from those who had given up long ago.

In these busy days I appreciate so much when you take time to comment. Thank you so much!